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纷纷红紫已成尘·布谷声中夏令新

山西财院78jitong 19781017--19820715

 
 
 

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78jitong.......................................................... 高三李五七弓长,三赵九刘七大王,阎吴谢孙崔氏双,柴米余侯箩万堂, 毛邓陈宋任申杭,曾肖徐翁程董梁,储曲祁解韦国强,男女七十学跟党。

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2016年12月25日  

2016-12-25 21:40:35|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Can’t always get what you want? Don’t worry

The first time I went on a silent meditation retreat, a few years back, I was terrified the experience might prove impossible to endure. The last time I went, the other week, I faced a different problem: I was pretty sure it would be deeply enjoyable and refreshing. You might be wondering why that counts as a problem. Here’s why. It was on the evening of Day One, watching the sun sink below the horizon, savouring the stillness in the air, that a thought first occurred: “Damn it, only a few more days of this, and it’ll be time to leave!” According to a cheesy old saying, there are two ways to be unhappy. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it. The trouble with happiness is that the prospect of it ending makes you sad.

I was in a good location to be entertaining such thoughts, since this insight is most commonly attributed to Buddhism, and meditation can help. But the same point crops up in multiple traditions: there’s more to “wanting” than meets the eye. You think the solution to wanting something is to obtain that thing, whereupon you’ll feel satisfied. But it rarely works out that way. Either the thing fails to live up to your expectations, or alternatively it does and then you’re desperate not to lose it. Worse, what you’re really sometimes craving isn’t the thing itself, but novelty – and by definition, you can’t keep obtaining that from the same person or possession. In a recent essay, Getting What We Want Isn’t What We Really Want, the blogger David Cain recalled the bittersweet experience of buying new CDs as a teenager: “Every glorious listen came with a faint streak of dread, because I knew I was only sucking the magic out of it with each play.”

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